Let me give you a bulleted snapshot of the next four weeks in our household. The articles marked with a triple asterisk*** indicate areas where help would be nice to receive, but the odds are only 50-50 that we will get any, even if we ask for it. Red text indicates high stress events; green text indicates... oh heck, who am I kidding... it's all red text!
I will:
- get my annual MRI (spinal and brain, so about 1.5 hours in the White Tube of Death) to see if my MS meds are working or whether my MS has progressed despite all these meds. Your guess is as good as mine.
- participate in a grueling day-long neurocognitive test to establish a diagnostic baseline so, in the future, if I lose my mind, at least I can prove it clinically (not really kidding, this is all about qualifying for disability down the pike)
- find out if I need to get wrist surgery for my arthritis/carpal tunnel issues
- provide some of the only reliable transportation that my daughter's water polo team ever gets to their far and away games (50-75 miles one way) over multiple days*** (at least I enjoy doing this when I don't have a migraine... but what in tarnation will they do next year without me? Seriously? and I'm not even a captain's mom!)
- study for and take my sleep health educator credentialing exam*** (I am getting some help but it's really that I don't have any quiet time to even study)
- prepare to learn an entire new electronic medical records system - which has the added reputation of being WONKY - but must pass proficiency to keep my job
- continue to work as many hours as I can (schedule has been highly unpredictable since February); listen, not knowing for sure when you are working (until 4pm that day) is stressful, peeps
- start pulling together all the communications for the sleep society fall conference, including blogging and website relaunch and maintenance (oh sure, Murphy's Law doesn't apply at all here, right?)
- plan a graduation party as well as get announcements and invites out and create a Brag Board and slide show for my daughter
- finish two essays related to sleep medicine
- try to keep up with several blogs
- complete my sleep health clearinghouse website, which is woefully behind in production
My husband will:
- perform in several private band gigs as well as our hometown parade
- travel to Dallas for the annual business conference
- power wash, restain/repaint the deck and complete other major home maintenance repairs
- set up for the graduation party
- continue to address mother's transportation and medical issues*** (we just had her SNF up her services so she will stop calling us for things they can do easily without her needs completely blindsiding us on a daily basis)
My oldest daughter will:
- complete her last season of high school water polo, which includes wild card and state tournament games covering 6 full days
- attend the dreaded senior salute/end of season banquet. This should be a positive experience, right? Don't get me started on the debacle that overlooked her as team captain just a year ago, and the heartbreak and ego-swallowing and self-restraint all of us here at home have had to endure over the last 12 months as a result.... Once bitten, twice shy, as they say. I'm afraid that all the work she's done for this team will just result in her getting ignored and unacknowledged like she's been ALL FRICKIN' SEASON by at least one coach. This includes her serving as an excellent leader despite not being picked as captain; being perhaps the finest team player they have (and not the hot shot who is in it for the personal glory); sharing what she learns in separate clinics with her teammates--and it shows, in the games; and recruiting nearly 90% of the current team, quite a legacy. I'm just asking the Universe... just this one night, can she be gifted an opportunity to shine that's all hers to enjoy and deserve? Can it be a chance for her to cry tears of joy, for a change? Everyday has become a bittersweet teachable moment this year... it wears on her, on us. No wonder she wants to get as far away from our small town as possible... her experiences beyond the home team have been positive and encouraging and have made her feel like she matters. Here at the home pool? Not so much. And yes, it makes me angry to see someone get overlooked who deserves better.
- attend prom (thank goodness she already has a dress!)
- interview for a scholarship
- attend the senior awards banquet (at least they will celebrate her accolades there)
- graduate!
- start Junior Olympics water polo training in earnest (4 days a week at a pool 50 miles away)
- pick up her lifeguarding job when polo season is over
- start physical training to be ready for Div I level water polo in September
- practice driving and get her driver's license
My youngest daughter will:
- attend the band end-of-year-banquet (which she also organized)
- vie for color guard captain title for next year
- complete another 4-day drum corps camp
- play in the band for graduation
- perform the winning show with Winter Guard one more time for the public
- prepare for a 2-month, cross-country drum corps tour
- attend a field trip to Wild Waves with Winter Guard
Somewhere in there is the whole emotional underlayer of:
- dealing with an ailing elderly relative who can't live independently but who won't pay for immediately available services when she can call my husband and ask him to do EVERYTHING*** (by the way, we are not the only relatives that could be caring for her, there are others who just blow off their obligations so they can take their usual 2-3 vacations a year. Yes, I'm bitter.)
- dealing with the emotions fraught in witnessing my oldest daughter's graduation*** (I can barely even think about this for all the other stuff going on. Yes, I feel robbed.)
- dealing with the fact that my youngest daughter is going to be gone ALL summer*** (I'm not ready for the empty nest yet and she and I are close as two peas in a pod; what will I do without her?)
- dealing with the unknowns of having MS*** (I live with this daily, but that doesn't mean it ever gets easier)
As well as the usual and sundry activities of daily living:
- yardwork*** (getting some help now and the worst should be over soon)
- laundry (it will lighten just by having one kid away from home)
- housekeeping*** (gonna start paying for this again)
- paperwork
- eating right
- exercising*** (literally NO TIME)
- sleeping
- medicine maintenance
After which I will probably collapse. If I don't before then...
I include all four of us in this overview because, if you are a parent, you know that all that happens to your children eventually happens through you, including the emotional ups and downs, the physical logistics and the problem solving that comes along with it all. Nothing happens in a vacuum, but more importantly, all of our kids' "gigs" are our "gigs" as well, and despite all the things slated to happen over the next four weeks, we will be there for every last event.
Sigh. Still, it's exhausting to even imagine. We have no vacation planned afterward. I am attending a writing conference for 11 days in July which will be like a working vacation, and my hubs will follow suit the next week at a jazz workshop. I will take my oldest to NYC for 3 days as a graduation gift before setting her up in the dorms in upstate NY in late August. If we are lucky, my husband and I might be able to take a night off here or there to go camping. In the absence of that, I hope to resurrect the chiminea and spend as many summer nights as possible staring into campfire.
Please cross your fingers for me that I don't have an MS relapse during the next four weeks. Because there aren't any plan Bs for this kind of stuff.
